Each of us engages in curated self-presentation, depending on the situation we are in and the image we wish to convey. We exaggerate or downplay specific characteristics based on our goals, and our understanding of the relevant expectations. For example, aspects of one’s personality may be deemed appropriate around friends, but not in a professional work meeting. We moderate our behavior and responses without much conscious effort because it allows us to navigate the social world in an acceptable way. 

There are also aspects of ourselves that we always seek to suppress—sometimes consciously and most often, subconsciously. These dark and seemingly undesirable portions are known as the shadow self, and often include uncomfortable emotions, thoughts, and desires. Yet, the shadow self is a critical part of the self, and an attempt to suppress the shadow self, whether conscious or subconscious, is futile. The shadow self will dictate your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, without your realization. It can lead to daily negative consequences including profound negative and inaccurate perceptions of the self and others. Further, it will manifest itself strongly in times of vulnerability, such as when you are intoxicated. 

The shadow self is a consequence of ego development, social interactions, and the environment of childhood development. We promoted and suppressed specific characteristics to increase the likelihood of safety, approval, affection, and ultimately our survival. We relied upon those around us for our care, and as such, external expectations played a large part in the sense of self we allowed to be displayed. 

Shadow work may help you to dismantle self-limiting thoughts and behaviors, reduce mental health symptoms, break free from destructive patterns, and improve your relationship with yourself and others.